forgiveness is a virtue that heals all wounds

Psychologists generally defines forgiveness as a conscious, intentional decision to release feelings of resentment towards a person or group of people who has wronged and harmed you one way or the other, regardless of whether they deserve your forgiveness or not. Forgiveness is letting go totally, giving up your rights to hurt someone for hurting you first, letting go of anger and past transgressions to be at peace with both yourself and the person who wronged you.

Forgiveness is a choice, many people think forgiveness is an emotion – something you either feel or you don’t. forgiveness is an act of will, a choice; choosing not to hold an offence against someone, choosing not to dwell  on the offence or continue to replay it in your thoughts, choosing not to keep record or keep score of past transgressions.

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 Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting – it’s simply moving on without anger or resentment. Suppose, for example, someone sets your favorite cloth on fire sometime last month. Although you forgive the perpetrator, it’s unlikely you will forget who set the fire. The question is, what do you feel when you remember the incident? There shouldn’t be any trace of hatred, if there is; it means you haven’t truly forgiven. On the other hand, if you tell someone, “I can forgive, but I can’t forget,” examine yourself. What you really might be saying is, “I choose not to forgive,” – forgiving someone and still intentionally holding on to the grudge isn’t forgiveness.

“Lord forgive us our transgressions as we forgive those who transgress against us,” as it is said in the Lord’s Prayer. Will I write a post about forgiveness and not make a single reference to the bible? I don’t think so. Matthew 6: 14-15 “for if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.” When you think about it deeply, forgiveness is truly a virtue – only one with a pure heart can practice true forgiveness, “so I believe.”

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Forgiveness is for our own growth and happiness. When we hold on to hurt, pain, resentment and anger it harms us more than it does the offender. Forgiveness frees us to live in the present. ….our anger, hatred and resentment towards someone mean that we are giving up our power to that person. Sometimes you have to forgive someone several times before you can finally let go of all the emotional residue of the past. Forgiveness is a slow but gradual process of healing oneself. As you practice forgiveness on a regular basis, you will feel lighter as you expand your capacity for flexibility, love and compassion.